As I enjoyed some down time from the busyness of a normal work week, I sat back and enjoyed some time of reflection. I really enjoyed getting to do this because when school is in session our lives are too hectic to do this very often. Between my schedule and Kristin and the kid’s schedules, there is little time to do much besides the daily tasks that have to be done. This week I had time to do some other things though. I was able to sit back and watch some things. I was able to enjoy some down time. So these are all things that I randomly thought about this week while on Thanksgiving break. I was able to spend a lot of time with my immediate family as well as time with both sets of parents and siblings. We had a great week. Just like many people, I ate way too much. But it was so good. We had 3 different Thanksgiving meals with a variety of food. We had the traditional turkey and ham, mashed potatoes and gravy, and stuffing, or dressing depending on what you call it. Then there were the luscious sweet potatoes and mac and cheese. Then there are those green or red or orange or whatever other colors of fluff salads that only really come along for the holidays. I don’t really know the best way to describe them, but I bet everyone knows what I’m talking about. Sometimes they have fruit, or marshmallows, or nuts, and whip cream in them among other things depending on what kind it is. They aren’t really a hot item any other time of year. But over the course of the previous week and through the next month, they are a fixture of family gatherings everywhere. Then the desserts are always in abundance as well. I can’t ever decide which one to have so I get small portions of a lot of them. Because of the variety I have, the small portions make me feel better about it. While all of this is just a smorgasbord of goodness, for some reason it also causes my jeans and shirts to shrink. That leads to me wearing loose fitting clothing to church on Sunday to be more comfortable until I can stretch my clothes back out. If only I could find some man jeans with a yoga pants waistband. That would be great for this time of year. I really hope others can relate to this problem and it’s not just me.
In between all of these wonderful meals I did have some time to think about a lot of things. As I stated earlier, I spent a lot of time with my wife and kids. When my kids were younger I was pretty hard on them. I still am to a certain extent about some things. This is just because I have high expectations for them and want them to be responsible and respectful citizens. But as they have gotten older I don’t have to be so hard on them with discipline. They are getting old enough now that we can talk more about things instead of just always disciplining them. But, I have come to realize that they are just like every other kid. I guess I had this misconception that my kids were the only ones that made mistakes. I just wanted them to do everything right, but I realize now all they really want to do is please mom and dad. Sometimes some bad decisions get in the way of that. But deep down that’s really all they want. As they get older, I have come to value our time together as a family more because I realize how fast it is going. One thing I learned along the way was that they don’t all have to be the same. When they were younger I used to try and make them all the same. I just thought they would all have the same interest. After all, they all three have the same parents so why wouldn’t they be the same. As they have grown older I have realized that they are not all the same, and that is perfectly fine. I have three different kids and I am completely ok with that. They all have different interest that they love doing. That is what makes them unique. As I have lightened up a little and realized how much fun it is to just enjoy them for who they are, we have a lot of fun together. This isn’t to say that we don’t still have disagreements or that we live in pleasantville all the time. We still have things come up like every parent and child do. But through all of this I have learned to love my time with my kids so much more because of a different outlook on them and their individual personalities. Most parents probably knew this way before me, but I guess it took me awhile.
As I mentioned, we went to both sides of our family this week. I love spending time with both sides. But I have noticed something Kristin and I do now that I used to think older people were crazy when they did. We like to be in our own bed the older we get. We are so lucky to have both sets of our parents close. We are basically right in the middle between the two, about 45 minutes from each of them. We used to go to both of their houses and stay the night. Over breaks, we were gone more than we were home. But as we get older, there is just something about being in your own bed in your own house. I used to hear people say that and thought they really just didn’t want to be somewhere so they said that so they could leave. But it really is true. I love to go and spend time with them and then be in my bed that night. That’s not to say we don’t or won’t ever stay the night, because we do and will. It is just so nice to be so close to them that we can go home at night after a great day with family. But, every once in awhile it is nice to stay the night too. It’s like going to their house and staying a night or two takes all your worries away for a little bit. Speaking of getting older, I also noticed lately that I am turning more into my dad all the time (which isn’t a bad thing). I used to make fun of him for warming up coffee in the evening that was leftover in the pot from the morning. He would do that in the evenings while watching tv or doing whatever we were doing. He would drink it up until the time he went to bed sometimes. That was gross. I wouldn’t ever do that. Until now. I do that now. Who wants to make a whole new pot in the evening. The microwave makes it just as warm as it was in the morning. So now I watch him like I did when I was a kid, just for different reasons. I watched him this week to see what things I will do at some point that I said I never would before.
I have spent a lot of time in the deer stand over the break. So that is where a lot of these thoughts have came from. Since I was in the deer stand, that means that I spent a lot of time with two boys in there. That also means that there are a lot of things that go on in there that, in the tight quarters of the deer stand with that many people, can test a fella. The art of a 7 and 11 year old staying still and quiet for 3 hours, well doesn’t really exist. With all the sniffs, snorts, and noisy movements and talking, to go along with some snoring (all of these mainly from the 7 year old), we are fortunate that we have seen any deer. While we were discussing this and getting a good laugh while at my parents house this last week, my mom reminded me that all of those things that I was talking about regarding my boys, my dad used to say the same thing about me. She is good at reminding me that the apple didn’t really even fall off the tree sometimes. That helps me realize to just enjoy my boys and the time that we have to do things like this. I also realized for some reason just this week, that we have 4 years until Traber starts driving. So yesterday I decided that he needed to start getting used to driving more. He has driven some with the 4 wheeler, ranger, lawn mower, and even the pickup a little bit in the pasture. But, I decided that he needed to do it more. So I decided to let him drive the 4 wheeler back home from our hunting spot with me on the back. I thought surely with me on the back and me holding his rifle he would be mindful of that. But, nope. He gassed er right from the start and just about flipped me off the back. When I hollered for him to slow down, after pulling myself back up on the seat of the 4 wheeler and not dropping the rifle, which was unloaded by the way, he just turned around and grinned. Everyone that knows him can picture that grin right now too. Not sure if it was on purpose or accident, but since I didn’t fall completely off the 4 wheeler we had a good laugh about it. Had I fell off we might have had a little different conversation.
Another thing I noticed during my times of pondering over the break is what families do for each other. I have watched as both sides of my family have so many examples of selfless people. It deals with things that range from what our parents do for us and our kids, to what our siblings do for each other, to what our siblings do for each others’ kids. I watched grandparents taking care of and doing things with their grandkids that requires extreme patience. But, I think those patience come with being a grandparent. And also with the fact that they don’t actually have to go home with the kids at night, so the parents get to deal with whatever it is the grandparents let them do, or eat. But anyhow, they are all great examples of terrific grandparents with a lot of patience. I don’t have siblings but I watch the things that Kristin and her siblings do for each other and also for the in-law siblings in the family. Then I watch how her siblings treat our kids. I watched her brother take our son hunting and sacrifice the possibility of getting a deer himself to take his nephew. Now if a monster buck came out, he may have told Traber that one was a little too big for a kid to shoot or a little too far away, who knows. But it is just awesome to see how fortunate we are to have two great sets of parents and families that put such a high value on God and family.
That last sentence is the greatest thing of all that I have observed over not only this break, but years of being in both families. That is the love they have for their family and also for God. They are great Christian examples that not only love their families, but more importantly love the Lord. That love for the Lord is why they love their families the way they do.
I mentioned last week that the holidays are tough for people that have lost loved ones. So I encourage you to take advantage of the time you have with loved ones. Spend time, not just time, but quality time with them. Enjoy the time you have with them while you have it. But, another thing that came to my mind were the people that don’t have this. What about the people that don’t have the types of families we do? What about the people that weren’t raised in good strong Christian homes like we were? How can we reach these people? What can we do for them? What about those people that had family at one time, but now they don’t? Maybe it’s because of age or maybe it’s from problems within their family? How can we reach out to these people? How can we make the holiday season a special time for a family less fortunate than we are? I want to not only take care of my family but also help other families that can use the help. My challenge to myself, and everyone else too, is to cherish the precious time with our families and also find a way to reach others during this holiday season. Just think if everyone reached out to a family or two outside our own how many people could be effected. I’m not talking about necessarily gifts, but maybe something as simple as a word of encouragement. A note to help uplift them. A place to get a good home cooked meal. Things like that make a huge difference. That’s something I want to really focus on. How can I be uplifting to my family, people in my community, or maybe a total stranger. Hopefully we can be mindful of things like this starting with the holidays and that will carry over to doing it all the time. I encourage everyone to try and find time to just think sometimes about a lot of different things in life we take for granted. This life gets really busy. Sometimes we need a reminder to just slow it down. I know I do. That’s what I was able to do this week. I was able to slow down and take time to observe all the things that I would miss out on if I just kept going at the same pace all the time. I hope everyone can make a conscious effort to do this at some point during the holiday season the next month. It all starts with some good time to ponder and a desire to make the world a better place one day at a time!!!