This is a post that at first glance people may think applies only to parents. I am going to talk from a parent’s perspective, because I am a parent and that is my point of reference. But this could apply to grandparents as well. It could also include those that don’t have kids, but are in contact with kids, which could include basically everyone. It could also include future parents. So basically, this could actually involve everyone. So there you have it. This could be an all encompassing topic that could cut to the heart with a little bit of truth serum and a little bit of reflection.
Life is busy. We get caught up in a lot of things. We have a lot going on. I wasn’t alive in the “good ole days” but they tell me things were a lot slower than they are now. They tell me there were a lot less activities and a lot more family time opportunities. I can’t verify that because I obviously wasn’t around to see it. I do know that things are busier now than when I grew up though. But, as my own children grow up this topic comes to mind every day. What have we instilled in them?
There are the basic principles that every parent wants their kids to have. We want them to be hard working, respectful to other people, successful when they grow up, etc. I would say that no one would honestly say they don’t want those types of things for their children. But, what have we really taught them? This question comes to my mind regularly and I always wonder if Kristin and I have done the right things and done enough of those things.
Have we taught them to have a relationship with Jesus Christ? What exactly does that mean anyway? That doesn’t necessarily mean just taking them to church services on Sunday. That means have we been an example to them of what it means to have a relationship with our Lord. Have they seen us opening our Bibles and spending time in God’s word? Have we prayed with them at meal time? Have we prayed with them at night? Have we talked with them about what it means to have a relationship with the Lord and not just be a Sunday morning acquaintance with God? These are all legit questions as to how we have done as parents.
Have we taught them about priorities? Have we taught them that nothing takes precedents over attending Church services on Sunday? No activity, whether it is a ballgame, a shopping trip, a vacation, or whatever else the case may be, is worth missing time with God on Sunday. Does that mean that you will be at your home congregation every Sunday? No. There are times when you will be out of town. But, did we attend services on the road or have our own services in our camper while at a campsite somewhere? Did we make it a priority, or did we just say it will be alright for this one time? That one times makes it easier and easier the next time we want to do the same thing. I just want to make sure our children know that nothing takes priority over God. This also goes beyond just Sundays. Have we taught them that our relationship with God is not only a Sunday morning thing? Have we shown them by our actions that a relationship with God is a daily thing? It is easy to get caught up in attending church service on Sunday and then not spending any time with God until the next Sunday. Trust me, I did it for years. I look back now and realize that is not a very good way to go about things. But, it is easy to fall into that category.
Have we taught them how to treat other people? Have we taught them that you don’t repay one bad act with another? I Peter 3:9 says, “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.” This is a tough one. Sometimes when someone does something to wrong us, even if we don’t act on it, we talk about how we feel about that person and a lot of times that is negative. Another problem with that talk is when our kids hear it. That isn’t what they need to hear coming out of our mouths. Romans 12:17-21 says, “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord. On the contrary: ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’ do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” That is so tough to do sometimes. But, that isn’t me talking. That’s the word of God. That is our creator instructing us on how to handle people. It all goes back to the two greatest commands, love God and love your neighbor. Everything else falls into one of those two categories. I have talked about the Robertsons from Duck Dynasty in here before. I recently heard Phil tell a story about many years ago when he fished for a living. He went out to run his nets one day and discovered that someone had been getting to them before he did. He finally caught them in the act. When he caught them, he took the fish back that they had stole from him and then he gave some of the fish back to them. He said if you would just ask me I will give you some. He told them if they were hungry to stop by his house and he would feed them. He told them all he asked of them was that they not steal from him. That is a great example of how to do exactly what these verses above are talking about. That wouldn’t be easy to do, but that is what God instructs us to do.
There are so many things we need to teach our children as they grow up. Parenting is no doubt a hard, but massively important task. But, they do come with an owners manual, the Bible. What makes this difficult is that there are times when what we really want to do and what the Bible tells us to do are completely different. We just have to remember that if we use the Bible as our guide, there is a far greater reward than anything on this earth. It may not always be the popular decision amongst the people we are around, but that is ok. The eternal reward will be worth it.
Just last night we were eating supper and our kids got a pop out of our barn fridge, which used to be my grandparents fridge in their house. Our youngest took a drink and said, “This can smells like Papa ( who passed away a couple of years ago) and reminds me of him.” A few minutes later my daughter was in her room crying. It was weird that she was doing that, but especially weird because it was Daxon’s birthday and we were getting ready to have cake. I went back to Channing’s room and asked her what was going on. She said, “When Daxon said that his pop can smelled like Papa it made me miss him and Nene (who has also passed away) and I just want to see them again.” That was one of those parenting moments that caught me completely off guard. Here I am about to dive face deep into some oreo dirt cake and then she springs this on me. Talk about putting me on an emotional roller coaster. So we talked about how we will see them again. We just have to live our lives in a way that we trust God and we love God and love our neighbors and we will be united with not only Papa and Nene, but everyone else that we love that has gone on before us. I guess that talk and a hug was all she needed. After that, we hopped up and went back into the kitchen and absolutely destroyed that oreo cake.
So, as I look at the overall picture of raising kids, this is what I see. I look at all these things I want to do with my kids, and all of these things I want to teach my kids. We are, just like everyone else, busy with activities and hobbies and things that we enjoy doing. All of those things are great. I feel like they are great for them and for their overall development. It is great to teach our kids to go on vacations, play sports, camp, hunt, fish, build things, learn a trade, or have other hobbies. The list could go on and on. But, there is one question that always comes to my mind, and more lately than ever. What have we done with their soul? Have we instilled in them the love of God and the desire to seek a deep relationship with Him? But most importantly, have our children seen this in us? We all know that kids do what they see more than what they hear. You see, kids have selective hearing, no doubt. I see this daily in my house. It might even go beyond my children and apply to my wife as well. But, the kids definitely don’t have selective vision. They pick up on everything that we do. Sometimes I even catch myself thinking, “That doesn’t make any sense. Why are they doing that?” Then I realize they are just doing what they have seen me do. But anyway, that has really been on my heart lately. I just want to make sure that we are instilling in them what is truly important. Those hobbies are great and some of those can last them a lifetime. But, is what we are making our main focus going to benefit them beyond this life here on earth? If not, them maybe we need to re-evaluate what we are doing. Maybe we need to find a happy balance between our own desires and what God desires of us as parents. There are no do-overs with our kids. We get one shot. We must teach them to trust God and love God and love their neighbor and every thing else will fall into place!!!