We’ve talked a little in here before about fountains and drains. We all know fountains and we all know drains. We have all been both as well. But, we all tend to be one more than the other. It just depends on our outlook on life in general. We all know those people that always have a smile on their face and have a positive outlook on life. We also know those people that always have that frown on their face and when they speak, it is usually something negative. Sometimes we can become more of a drain at certain times in our life. We can become more negative, depending on what is going on around us. But we are known as one or the other. We all are. We may have never thought about it when thinking about ourselves. But trust me, others have.
I am typically more of a glass half, sometimes 3/4, full. I have actually been accused sometimes of being too optimistic or positive. That’s just the way I am. Maybe sometimes it is to a fault, I don’t know. But I have a tendency to feel like everything will be ok, no matter what the circumstance is. That’s just the way I’ve always been. Now there have been times in my life when I have not been so positive. But as I look at those times and think about those situations, most of the time it all has to do with who I am around and how I let them effect me. The same can be said for the other side as well. The best and most positive times in my life have been when I surround myself with people that are positive. We don’t fully understand our impact on people a lot of times. We get in a rut of being a complainer. We bring others down with our complaining or bad attitudes. We whine and complain about things we have no control over. We think our opinion is the only one that matters. We get so caught up in ourselves. It is a trap that satan uses to bring others down through us.
We don’t always look at that as being satan. But think about it. Satan tries to find ways to cause problems in our life. He tries to find ways to bring people down. He uses whatever and whoever he can to try and destroy people. He wants nothing more than for us to be miserable. He wants us to be miserable and for us to suck the life out of someone else too. It becomes a vicious cycle that is easy to fall victim to. He knows that if he can get us to fall into that trap, that pulls us away from God. That is exactly what he wants. He wants to use drains to recruit more drains.
Here is one example I came across this week that drove this point home to me. I go to a lot of ballgames. Most of the games I go to are the ones our school competes in. But, I also go to other games that our kids are not involved in as well. I also go to my own children’s games. Those are a lot of times more eye opening than the JH and HS events. I hear so much negativity at most of the games I go to. I am also guilty of this myself every once in awhile. I try and be positive, but there are those occasional times when I gripe at the officials. Then I stop and ask myself, did that really do any good? Have I ever seen an official stop the game and say, “Jared, you are right. That is the wrong call. Thank you for pointing that out. I am going to change that call.” No that hasn’t happened and it never will. Now talk about a positive thing for that official to do. That would be an incredibly nice thing for them to do when they are obviously wrong (according to me, the fan). But it’s just simply not going to happen. Now I’m not talking about coaches. That is part of their job to defend their players and work hard for them. But, as a fan, I try and just be positive for our school’s kids, or my personal children if they are the ones playing. But man, there is so much negativity at these events. I just can’t believe what goes on sometimes. I stand there in amazement. I’m not saying that we will love every call that every official makes. That will never happen either. The competitor comes out in us sometimes and the love for our children and the desire to see them succeed plays a factor. But I see a major problem at these events that is really sad to me.
I see children that are too young to be playing in the games, or that don’t play and just come to those games as spectators, and they yell at the officials from the start of the game to the end. And guess why, because that is what they see and hear from the adults the entire game every night. The negativity of the parents and fans has rubbed off on those kids so much that they yell the entire game. Here is a classic example of this. I stood there this last week at the Area Tournament and watched a lot of games. A lot of the time I was by different town’s students sections. There is one game in particular that our teams weren’t playing in, but I was by a certain town’s student section. No I’m not going to say which town it was, but their students yelled at the officials the entire time. It was really bothering me. The stuff that was coming out of their mouths was not fit for adults to say or even hear, much less for 8-18 year old kids to be saying. I found myself getting furious at these kids. Then I stopped and looked across the gym at the adults from that same town and it all made sense. Those students were just a product of their environment. That’s simply all it was. Then it really made me sad to think that is all those kids know. About all they have seen are negative experiences at all these ballgames all year. Some of them aren’t even old enough to have a deep understanding of what is going on during the basketball game. But they do know from their experiences all season that if the official blows the whistle and it goes against their team, it must be wrong. Talk about influence. Influence in the negative way. Wow, that really made me stop and think. It made me sad for those kids to think that is all they know.
We have the option to stop that cycle. This isn’t just about athletics. Really not much of it is. That is just a really small part of our lives in the grand scheme of life. It is just what I have been around a lot lately. Because of what I do for a living and what I have always been involved in, sports is just what I relate things to a lot. I feel like sports can teach us so many lessons about life. That is why I love them. It’s not what life is all about, but some great lessons can be learned through sports along the way. We get to wake up every day and say, “Not today satan. You are not pulling me away from God. I am going to work today for God. I am going to be uplifting to those around me. I am not going to complain today.” That doesn’t mean we love everything that goes on every day. No one does. But that doesn’t mean that we have to complain about it either. The majority of the time complaining doesn’t fix the problem, it just brings those around us down. Some people may not like happy, positive people. Most likely that is because they are a drain. If they get enough overspray from the fountain, maybe they will switch teams too.
Here is another situation that I came across in this same tournament this past weekend, but with a completely different impact. I watched two teams, once again not going to say what two teams, do battle for 4 quarters. During the 4th quarter, the team that would end up losing had a player foul out. She is a very good player for that team. The opposing fans gave that player a standing ovation as she walked off the court. How is that for positivity? Then, moments later, when that same team took their starters out for the last time, the same thing happened. People from the opposing crowd stood up and cheered for those girls. Then after the game was over, fans from the winning team were congratulating the opposing coach on a great season. That is a great example for those around them to be watching. Some people can mistake that for not being competitive or being soft. Some say, “Oh they don’t want to win bad enough. They shouldn’t like anyone from that other team or give them any credit.” That is not it at all. That is just knowing how to compete and also have respect for people at the same time. That is being a positive influence on all of those kids sitting in the stands watching the adults and learning how to act, either in a positive or negative way.
That’s how I look at this situation. I look at it as teams. Team Fountain vs Team Drain. It might be in your workplace, your home, your church (yes this happens in churches too), or anything else we are a part of. Even if our natural personality is to be a fountain and have a positive outlook on things, satan is always there challenging us to turn negative. It’s an inner struggle we all have that we have to overcome. It’s tough to do sometimes. A lot of days it takes more energy to be positive than negative. Being negative is easier because more people complain than compliment. Think about that with ourselves. How many times a day do we complain vs how many times a day do we compliment someone. I am going to venture to say we would be surprised by the results if we kept track. I don’t think it would be as positive as we would want it to be.
My challenge for everyone is to wake up every day this week and make it a point first thing to remind ourselves that we are not going to complain about anything that day. Now the reality of that happening is in our hands. If we catch ourselves about to complain and we think about what we are working on with this challenge, it might just make us stop before we speak. It might be as simple as us complaining about something a co-worker did. We have to ask ourselves, if I say this to someone about someone else, is it going to help anything? Is it going to make a positive impact on someone? The answer in that situation is no. It is going to do one of two things, or both. It might remind the person we are talking to that we are a complainer and they will continue to have a negative image of us engrained in their mind. It might also make that person we are talking to think less of that person we are talking about. It might make them feel the same way we do. In the moment sometimes that is what we want. But, is that what we should really desire? No, we should want to lift others around us up.
Think about how much better we would feel about ourselves and everyone around us if we didn’t deal with so much negativity. Think about how much happier we would be if we didn’t experience so much negativity on a daily basis. Think about that person we know that just makes us happy every time we see them. What it is about them that makes us feel that way? What is it about them that makes us feel special or laugh? What is it about them that is uplifting? Make it a point to try and be that person for someone else. If someone does that for you, pay it forward. I promise life is much better on the positive side. If we make it a habit, it becomes easier and easier to do each week. We have to start small. We have to start somewhere. We have to pick our team for the week. Are we going to be a part of Team Fountain or Team Drain?