We all have them. They are those special people in our lives that we go months or even years without seeing, or maybe even talking to. We don’t see them for a long time and when we do see them it feels like we saw them the day before. The conversations pick up right where they left off months ago. I bet you can picture who those people are in your lives right now too. We have friends like that. We have a few families that we unfortunately don’t see a whole lot but when we do it is like that. We have some that may call us up and invite us to Branson on Tuesday and on Thursday we leave to go to Branson. We might talk about a trip to Atlanta to watch the Braves play on Thursday and leave on Friday. I say that because it has happened. We might not see them very often, but when we do it is like we live next door to each other and see them daily.
In this blog I have talked about our relationship with our family and with God a lot. But one thing I haven’t talked much about is friends. The need for friends change over time. The dynamic of friendships change with time. When we are young, sometimes we associate friends with popularity or status. We want the most friends so we can be the “cool” kid or part of the “in” crowd. Even as kids we might have a best friend or two, but the more friends we have the more popular we feel. As we get older that becomes less of a concern. We don’t worry as much about the quantity as the quality. We figure out that truly good friends are really important, but how many we have isn’t as important as we once thought.
Another thing that changes is how we choose our friends. When we are in high school most of our friends are who we go to school with. Sure we have others outside of our school. But our best friends generally come from the same school. That is because that is who we are around most of our childhood. Those close friends from high school can be lifelong friends. I still have a lot of friends from high school that I talk to and that I am good friends with. But as we move on from high school it is a little different. We no longer are just friends with who go to the same school as us because we are together everyday. As we get older, we select our friends differently. We are around so many more people the older we get. Not that our high school friends are bad, we just most likely aren’t around them like we were through school. We have to make new friends. Once we start college or enter the workforce we make decisions about who our friends will be that most likely have a huge impact on our lives forever. We are definitely influenced daily by who we are around. If we choose good friends, they will be a positive influence in our lives. If we don’t choose so wisely, they can negatively impact our life. That’s why it is so important to know what we want in a friend and choose wisely.
I Corinthians 15:33 says, “Bad company corrupts good character.” I feel like this is very true. Friends are so influential in our lives. That can be positive or negative. It is easy to be negative if that is what we are around all the time. On the other hand, we can have a positive impact on those people as well. We just have to make sure we are rooted deep enough in our morals and convictions to not let them negatively impact what we do. If we are strong enough in how we do things, we can just pray that we will have that positive impact on them.
Good friends are the type of people that can help us through tough situations. Sometimes they don’t have to say much of anything. Just be there for us and us for them. But, sometimes they talk us through things. Sometimes they are the shoulder we cry on. They are the person that talks sense into us when we have crazy or terrible ideas. They are brutally honest with us when we need to hear it. They are the type that we can trust with anything we tell them. The list of characteristics can go on and on, but we all have in mind those friends like this that we have in our life.
We have some friends that we have had for 20 years. We met in college. They were a couple of years older than us. They were married in college, but Kristin and I were not. I lived with them one summer. I bet that was a joy for them. They hadn’t been married very long and had another guy living with them. At the time it sounded like a great idea, to he and I anyway. He and I enjoyed it but I’m not sure his wife was not always ecstatic about it. But through it all we are still friends. They are the ones we have been to Branson and Atlanta with on a couple of days notice. We left one night and headed to Lawton to get Crispy Creme donuts at 10:00 pm and ended up in Dallas. The stories of the fun we had and the things we did could go on for hours, but I won’t bore you with all of those. But when we were together we never knew what was going to happen or where we would end up. We later started having children. This changed things a little bit. It didn’t change our friendship, just what we did. We didn’t drive to Atlanta with no real advanced notice. We didn’t leave for Lawton and end up in Dallas. We unfortunately don’t see each other as much now. One thing that hasn’t changed though is the fact that nothing has changed. When we see them we pick up right where we left off. Although we don’t do those spur of the moment trips much anymore due to life happening and busy schedules, we still have a blast when we are together. Our kids now love being together. They are the types of friends that will last a lifetime. We have seen each other through rough times and good times and would do anything to help each other out.
We also have those close friends that we see more often. Those friends know more about our daily lives. They know more about our struggles and our high points we go through on a daily basis. These people are so important to have in our lives. They are the ones that keep us going each day. They are the ones that sometimes convince us we are being dramatic or selfish. They help us to see the other side of things sometimes. They advise us sometimes when we don’t want it, and don’t think we need it. But we usually realize that we actually needed, we just didn’t want to hear it. At times they humble us when we need it and lift us up when we are down. But no matter what, they have our best interest at heart. They are always in our corner. They take us and get a coke when we need to get away. They send us a positive text message at just the right time when we need to hear something positive. The list of things a close friend does could go on and on. But we all have these people in our lives. We all have those people we depend on daily. Sometimes we just need someone outside our family. We just need a friend.
The challenge for us is to examine ourselves. We need to ask ourselves are we that type of friend in return. Are we the ones getting the uplifting text from a friend or are we sending them as well? Are we the ones that are being helped all the time, or are we looking for ways to be that for someone else? Sometimes we get caught up in thinking about ourselves. We get to feeling down or thinking that our situation is bad and someone should be taking care of us. We get our feelings hurt if someone doesn’t do that for us. But we forget to be that for someone else. We don’t realize that we haven’t been that for someone else in a long time.
This week I challenge all of us to take a good hard look at what kind of friend we are. What do we do for our friends? Do we do anything for them? Do we just rely on others doing things for us? Being a good friend takes work. It takes us being aware of what others need and sometimes putting those needs before our own. It requires us to be open to putting ourselves out there to help others. As the saying goes, “To have a friend you have to be a friend.” It goes both ways. I hope that we can examine what type of friend we are. Friends are such a big part of our lives. Sure we have family and we should place a lot of reliance on God, but Earthly friends help in so many ways. This week, take a look at how we can become a better friend. Cherish the ones we have. Show them what they mean to you. Everyone may do that in a different way. It goes back to the golden rule, “Treat others how you want to be treated.” If we do this, we will have have the type of friends we want to have. More importantly, we will be the type of friend that we want to have!!!