Author: jcudd14

I’m not a real political person. I follow the basics of politics, but I don’t follow it as closely as some do. So this is not meant to be a political post so please don’t read it that way. That is not my intentions. But I am an American and what I have seen happen to our country in so many areas disappoints me greatly. The division that has taken place in America truly hurts my heart. I can’t believe that people in our country have resorted to the measures that they have to try and get what they want. I hope that one day this country can unite. No one will ever be in total agreement on everything. That is not possible, but I feel like we can make strides to become more united.

In the words of John F. Kennedy, “Let us not seek the republican answer or democratic answer, but the right answer. Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past. Let us accept our own responsibility for the future.” I feel like this quote rings true now more than ever. In a day when people are so caught up in the democratic way or the republican way they forget about the right way, whatever way that is. I wish this was an easy fix. I wish that we could learn to agree to disagree and compromise when needed. We have come to a point that when we disagree, on anything, not just politics, that a lot of times from that point forward we are not going to like or associate with the people that have differing opinions than our own. More than that, we are going to do whatever we can to get back at them. We are going to mistreat them because we think differently than they do. I have friends that don’t have the same viewpoints as I do on some things. That doesn’t mean I love them any less or don’t want to be associated with them. It just means we don’t agree on everything. But they are still my friends and human beings and I still love them.

I see people take to social media to air out their differences or their opinion of other people. If they don’t like someone or they disagree with someone they put it on social media. What they either don’t realize or don’t care about is that this is not going to help the situation any. In fact, it is probably going to make it worse. Don’t get me wrong, social media can be a great tool if used in the right way. I have social media and I have been able to reconnect with a lot of old friends that I never would have been able to without it. But when used in the wrong way, I feel like it can be satan’s way of causing division among us. I feel like satan tempts us to use it in the wrong way and cause problems amongst God’s people. That is sad, but it happens.

Every time you turn the TV on you can find some type of feud among people somewhere. What is sad is that we are thought of by other people as the greatest country on Earth. There are people that are willing to do anything to get into this country. But just look at what has happened in the last however many years to change the unity of our country. Think about the difference in the way our country gets along as a whole. Think about the difference in the way we treat people that have differing opinions than we do. It’s just so sad to me. There is so much hostility in this country. You may think that our country has never been united. I can’t speak for more than 40 years ago because I wasn’t born yet, but I do think unity has been on the decline during my lifetime. I hope one day we can have a mutual respect for everyone that leads to more Godly relationships. I know people have always had issues with each other. I know that there has never been a time when everyone got along with everyone all the time. But we have became so caught up in our own agendas, or viewpoints, or simply caught up in ourselves, that we don’t care who we hurt along the way. We don’t care what we do to other people, because we can’t see past our own ideas. It’s hard not to get caught up in this mentality.

I was in Oklahoma City for several hours yesterday shopping. I am not in a bad mood too often, although my wife and kids might dispute this. But if there is anything that has the ability to put me in a bad mood it is shopping. Several hours of shopping can take that to another level. I just don’t enjoy it. I have gotten better over the years and much more patient, for the most part. But it’s still not a hobby of mine by any means. But it was just my wife and I yesterday so I tried to be extra patient and happy because I knew she was enjoying her time of browsing around touching every piece of clothing in every store to see just how it felt to the touch. As we went up and down isles aimlessly with no real goal in mind, I just bit my tongue and enjoyed the time we spent together. I have just come to realize that men and women, generally speaking, just shop differently. If men are truly shopping and not just being drug around like a dog on a leash, they know exactly what they want and they get it and get out of the store as quickly as possible. Most women, even if they have specific things they are going for, have no plan or estimated time of exit in mind. They are just there to touch, smell, or pick up everything in the store. My wife loves to shop, and do all of these things. The ones that are reading this and have shopped with her are laughing now because they either can just imagine her doing this or are just like her and do the same thing. So over time I have accepted this as being the way she is and realized it’s not changing. So I just go with it because I know there are things about me she feels the same way about and just accepts as well.

So back to the original thought about shopping yesterday in OKC. I watched the people in the stores. Knowing I was going to write about this today I made it a point to speak to basically everyone I passed in any of those stores. I do this most of the time anyway, but yesterday I paid more attention to the responses than normal. I greeted them with a big smile and a “how you doin” or a “how’s it goin” or something of that nature. There were a small portion that didn’t respond at all. They just kept walking while looking straight ahead or with their head down. But most responded. It wasn’t always with a smile. A lot of times they would say “fine” and never change expressions. I then watched other people interact or not interact with each other. What I noticed is that almost all people in the stores did not speak unless they were spoken to first. How can we spread cheer and God’s love if we don’t speak to people. That smile and a “how you doin” (I know some of you are reading this in a Joey Tribianni from ‘Friends’ voice) might be exactly what they need. They might also ignore you and walk past you looking straight ahead. But here’s what I’ve found out over several years of doing this. It’s not going to hurt anything if they don’t respond. But you speaking to them just might help. I have talked to people in public places before that led to a 30 minute conversation. That was all they needed was someone to listen to them. Sometimes that conversation leads to a total stranger telling me all kinds of things I didn’t really need to know about, but they just needed someone to listen to them. If I can be that for them then the mission was accomplished. Try this when you are in public. Say something to everyone you pass or meet in a store or wherever you might be. It may just be a “Hi” with a smile. It might seem simple to you, but might just be what someone needs.

You can see negativity everywhere you go. People just flat out treat people bad a lot of times. Now I realize there are good things that go on too. But there is getting to be a lot more negativity every day. It is just heartbreaking to me to see how mean, selfish, and tacky people can be. We can all be this way at times. I am as guilty as anyone. I have bad moments and bad days just like anyone else. But I try not to make that my normal behavior. It seems like it is getting to be more the norm though. It is getting to be more accepted as just a way of life. I hear reasons all the time like, “well you just have to make sure and take care of yourself.” While you do have to take care of yourself, it is also alright to look out for others as well. I hear a lot, “they treated me like that so they deserved it.” That doesn’t make it right either. Sometimes I hear, “I’ve just had a bad day. I can’t help it.” While you may have had a bad day, why make someone else have one too? We have no idea what that other person has going on or what they are going through. We are just concerned with ourselves and that is it. Like I said, I know the negativity gets the attention and there are positive things going on as well. People just seem to remember the negative more. It just seems like it is getting to be more accepted than ever before. These reasons for acting this way are all lies that satan fills our minds with to make it ok to do. We justify our behavior because that’s what we do. When we mess up, we try to find ways to justify it instead of correct it. That’s easier on our ego. Fixing it requires us to basically admit we were wrong.

I don’t have all the answers as to how to fix this, but I know one thing that could help. This country needs to turn to the principles it was founded on. It needs more God. I wrote a whole blog post on this several weeks ago, but I will say it again. Mark 12:29-31 sums it up pretty well. When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was he responded with, “The most important one is this: ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” Pretty simple huh? Love God and love your neighbor. It doesn’t say when you want to, it says to do it all the time. I have found over the years that when I have an issue or a problem that I need to solve, trying to do that on my own doesn’t work too well. There is one place to go to solve problems. That is the word of God. Open it up. Find the inspired words from God that will help you get through any problems that come up. Talk to God about it and receive the peace that only He can give.

It just makes me sick to see the way our country and the people in it have become so divided. This is such a great place and a place that people from all over the world want to be. But the things that have happened lately are making the best country in the world look pretty foolish. It doesn’t matter what side of the fence you are on, it has effected all of us. Like I said at the beginning, this is not a political post. This involves everyone. It is everyone’s problem. The way we treat people as a whole is a problem. The way we love or don’t love each other is everyone’s problem. It is just sad to see where it has gone. Ronald Reagan once said, “If we ever forget that we are One Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under.” Maybe there was a lot of truth to that after all.

I challenge every one this week to think about those two simple principles, love God and love your neighbor. Be conscious of how we treat people. Spread joy wherever you go. Perhaps most importantly, pray for our country. Pray for the leaders of our country. Pray that our country will get back to the values that once were the cornerstone of this country. Pray that people will show God’s love towards each other and treat each other with respect. We can’t just hope it changes. We have to work hard to make that change happen. If it is going to happen and unity is going to sweep across this country, it has to start somewhere. We have to be willing to swallow some pride and admit when we are wrong. We have to be willing to step up and admit faults and be willing to change. But I don’t feel that any of this is going to happen without a reliance on God. As a country we have gotten away from those basic principles that made God the central standard we operated around. We have to work to get that back. If that happens we can be confident that the right things will be taking place. We have to wake up each day and say, “Not today satan.” That is going to take a lot of hard work and a lot of faith and prayer on our part. It has to start somewhere, why not here with us?

Well, by now we have all heard the news of the helicopter crash that killed 9 people, including Kobe Bryant and his daughter Gigi. I mentioned this briefly last week in my post because all the reports were coming out as I was writing. As the week went on I became what Kristin called obsessed with it. I did watch a lot of videos and listened to a lot of people talk about all the different aspects of the situation. It is awful when any lives are lost in any tragedy, but especially when it is 9 at one time. All those people are special to their families. While Kobe and Gigi got most of the attention because of Kobe’s status as a professional athlete, that doesn’t take away from the importance of those other 7 people that were special to the people close to them. I have prayed for all of their families this week because it would be hard to try and deal with it when every time you turn on the TV or get on any social media it is there and you have to relive it again. I know it will take time for them to process all of this and my prayer is that they turn to God to help them with that grieving process.

As this week went on I found myself watching things any free moment that I had. I watched TV and clips on social media and interviews with Kobe. I watched as some of his friends talked about him and told stories about him. It fascinated me. For several days I couldn’t figure out why I was so intrigued by it. I didn’t know why I wanted to watch so much of it. Then it came to me. I could relate to some (not all) of his story, as I’m sure some of you can too. He was basically the same age as me. I could relate to the process he has gone through as a human being. Kobe came into the NBA straight out of high school. He made his debut when I was a sophomore in high school. In some of the interviews I watched with him he admitted later in his career that when he first got to the NBA he was arrogant and somewhat selfish as a basketball player and a person. He said he didn’t always handle things the right way. But he was really good at basketball. It didn’t take long for him to go to the top as one of the best players in the entire league. At that time I followed the NBA really close. In my opinion it was more fun to watch than today’s NBA. So that is one reason I followed it more closely than today. But at that age I followed all sports a little more closely than I do these days. Now I just don’t have as much time as I did back then to keep up with it. As I got older I still had the image of Kobe in my head as the arrogant player that he was when he first came into the league. I didn’t see the person he matured into over those years while I wasn’t following basketball as closely as I once did. His passing has changed a lot of people. If you listen to some people that knew him, they have realized some of the things they need to change. There have been professional athletes this week that have had problems with other athletes or other people in their lives and have called them and made things right with them. They have patched broken relationships because this made them think about their own life. Sometimes tragedy makes us think this way. Had Kobe passed away when he was 90, he may not have had the impact on people that his passing at 41 had.

Sure, he had his problems just like anyone else has. We all have things in our past we wish were different (if you don’t, you have done very well for yourself). He had his rape scandal back in 2003. That case was dismissed and settled out of court. He adamantly denied the rape accusation but admitted publicly to infidelity and issued an apology. As I watched everything in detail this week, I saw that this was the turning point in his life. This is when he began to grow up. I watched an interview with Kobe and Steven A. Smith after that incident in 2003. Steven A. asked him about that whole situation. Kobe responded with, “God is great. Don’t get no simpler than that.” Steven A. then asked him, “did you know that before that incident took place?” Kobe responded with, “You can know it all you want, but until you have to pick up that cross that you can’t carry and He picks it up for you and carries you and the cross, then you know.” That was a big turning point in Kobe’s life. That is when he grew closer to God. That is when he became a better husband and eventually a father.

That’s what I missed in those years I wasn’t following basketball as close. I missed the person he matured into. I’m not talking about the basketball player he was. He was good when he came into the league and was good when he retired. That never really changed. His game may have changed some, but he was great his whole career. But he matured into something different. There were so many stories I saw of him helping kids. He didn’t allow media or security when he went to visit or help kids that were sick. He didn’t want people to make a big deal about it. He wanted it to be a special time between him and those kids. That didn’t really come out in the media until after his passing because of the private way he did it.

There are some things I took from this whole tragedy that will stick with me for a long time. People say that the best people, or the best athletes, or the best at whatever else it is they do, all have one thing in common. They make those around them better. He did that as an athlete, but he also did that as a person. As I watched this week, I was drawn to his mentality. He was a very intelligent person. He spoke 3 languages fluently. He knew parts of 2 or 3 others. That is incredible. But what motivated me the most was his relentless pursuit of perfection and his desire to be successful at whatever it was that he did. He had a drive to be the best at whatever he was part of. That drive was not only in sports, but in his family life as well. That drive shifted even more to his family after he retired a few years ago. It shifted more into being a father and a husband. It was in helping others that were less fortunate. It was visiting those kids that were sick. It was in everything he did. He wanted to make those around him better. He wanted to be the absolute best he could be for those around him. He loved life. He loved being a father and a husband. Like I said earlier, I missed his maturation during those years. I didn’t really realize what he had became. He wasn’t perfect but none of us are. The difference is that the mistakes people in his situation make are publicized by the media. So everyone knows about them and people tend to form a more negative opinion about them than they do their friend or someone they know that does the same thing. But because he was about the same age as me, I can relate to that maturation process. There were a lot of things in his life like his scandal in 2003 that I can’t relate to. There are a lot of things about the lifestyle he lived as a professional athlete that I can’t relate to. But, I have talked about my own process before in this blog. I think that is why I was so drawn to this situation. I can relate to making changes in my life that made me and the ones I’m around every day better. I can relate to working hard to become a better husband and father. It is a process that’s not easy to go through and is never complete.

What if we had that same passion and drive in our lives? What if we had that same desire to be successful in everything we did? What if we had the desire to make everyone around us better? I can honestly say that by watching the things that I have watched this week and seeing the person and the husband and the father he became, I am more motivated to be that for my family and the people I am around. People may think that’s crazy or think he was just a famous rich athlete so who cares what he did or said. People can have their own opinions and that is just fine. But as a former athlete and currently still a coach, I relate a lot of things to sports. Just like other people relate things in their life to their own interests. I feel like there are a lot of lessons on how to do right that can be learned from people of Kobe’s status too. Sometimes all we hear is the negative things because that’s what the media wants us to hear. They don’t want to publicize the good stuff because we sadly live in a society where that won’t get as much publicity. That won’t make the biggest headlines. Maybe that athlete doesn’t want the attention and does those positive things in private. So in turn they don’t get publicized. That happens too, just like in Kobe’s example. But the negative always gets put out there. Some people thrive off of negativity. Some people thrive off the other person being worse off than themselves. If they can point out that other person’s flaws or something negative about them, it makes them look better. That is sad, but unfortunately the way a lot of things happen in this world.

Think about someone you look up to. It may be an athlete, a movie star, your parents, a sibling, or whoever else it is. What makes them so special? What makes you look up to them? What qualities do they possess that motivate you and make you want to be like them? If we are always trying to be better then we should always be evaluating things in this way. Ultimately, the person I want to emulate the most is Jesus Christ. That is the ultimate pursuit of perfection. We know we will never be perfect. There was only one person that was ever perfect and will ever be perfect and that is Jesus. But we can strive to be that. We can look to Jesus for how to do that. But, we can also look to people here on this earth to relate to as well. We can find people that motivate us and try to be that person for someone else too. I challenge everyone this week to think about someone that motivates us to be better. Think about someone that pushes us to pursue perfection in everything we do. Think about someone that makes everyone around them better. Figure out what it is that person does and make that a part of our life. Let that fuel us to be that for someone else. Tell that person what they mean to us and pay it forward. Live our life in such a way that we pursue perfection in everything we do and motivate other to do the same!!!

So many things change over time. Some we choose to change. Sometimes we change jobs. People move to different towns for one reason or another. There are a lot of things that change because of decisions we make. But a lot of things change that are out of our control and happen due to time. As I get older, I am starting to realize that a lot of things change that I always thought were so far away. My eyesight and hearing are fading. My weight doesn’t stay where it used to as effortlessly as it once did. I can’t drop 10 pounds a week anymore. I hurt when I get out of bed more often now. I drink coffee all hours of the day now. I dress for comfort. There are a lot of things that are different than when I was 25. This is all part of life. I don’t consider myself old, but aging. While watching high school sports I catch myself thinking…I remember when that kid was born! That is a hit to the ego right there. That makes me feel old. But with that age hopefully comes wisdom. I hope as I get older I learn from past experiences. I hope I can improve daily as I get more experienced at life. With that age comes other changes too.

As my kids get older, they change. They are developing new interests. They are beginning to move on from the things they used to be interested in. The toys that were once thought of by them to be the best thing that ever came along are not relevant to them anymore. They are figuring things out along the way. They are interested in things that teenagers are interested in (which scares me a little). They are figuring out what’s real and what’s not in life. With our kids changing, that is causing changes for Kristin and myself. The places we go, the things we do with them, and the things we buy them are all changing with their maturity. They want things that adults have. They want phones. That won’t happen for awhile still, but that doesn’t stop them from asking daily. Especially our 12 year old. This is one way we can keep him from growing up too quickly. He’s got the rest of his life to be a grownup. He doesn’t need a phone. He needs to be a kid. He needs to go play outside. He needs to do those things that kids do while he still can. His brother and sister appreciate that too, because that means that he is still paying at least a little bit of attention to them. These are just a few ways that our kids are changing over time. It’s bittersweet. Some days I feel (jokingly, most of the time of course) like I’m ready for them to be grown and more independent. But I know those feelings are just in the moment, because I am definitely not ready for them to grow up. That is just a thought that pops into my head every once in awhile for reasons that any parent can relate to from time to time. I know it goes fast and when they are grown I will wish they were kids again.

As I write this I am watching the coverage of the death of Kobe Bryant and his 13 year old daughter. Talk about change that happens quick. This puts a lot of things in perspective. This was obviously not planned to be in this post, but I can’t help but think about how it goes along with this topic. He is one of the best basketball players to ever play the game. This will change the basketball world forever. He just retired a few years ago and during his career he had a huge impact on the game. He was an incredible talent that also did a lot for the game of basketball. I don’t know him as a person so I can’t speak of him from a personal standpoint. But from listening to the ones that did, he was very well thought of. Just like any other athlete, he had people that liked him and people that didn’t. But he was a fierce competitor that was very respected in the basketball world. He inspired so many young players to play the game of basketball. The basketball world is a family just like any other sport. He had such a big impact on that family. But, just like anything else, things change with time. This will forever change his personal family’s life as well. It will change his wife and his other 3 daughter’s lives forever. It will change his friends’ lives forever. That is change that no one ever wants to have to go through.

This world changes daily. Technology has changed the way we do things. It is such a huge part of our everyday life. We think of technology the way we know it now, but it has been changing things for a long time. It goes back to electricity, to central heat and air, to advances to vehicles, the way we receive television though satellite. Think about the evolution of cell phones. From the original bag phones to the latest iPhone, they have made big advances. I remember when we got our first bag phone. It was so cool that we had a phone that we could carry around and use away from our house. Even though carrying that bag was like carrying a small suitcase, it was still really cool. If you had one of those, you felt like you were uptown. Now it is comical to think about. But that is how things change over time.

We could spend all day talking about changes and how those happen over time. The amount of things to talk about on this subject is endless. But, there is one thing that doesn’t change. “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever”. (Hebrews 13:8). That is the one constant that will never change. God’s love for us will never change. While our relationship with him should be ever evolving, his grace and his mercy and his love for us is constant. We live in an ever changing world. That is apparent with the changes we discussed above as well as all the other things we could include in this conversation. But, no matter what we go through, no matter what we are faced with, God is there. No matter how far we fall away, God is there. No matter how much we feel like we are not worthy, God is there. He doesn’t hold grudges. He doesn’t remember our mess ups. How awesome is that? How comforting is it to know that we may change over time, friendships may change over time, we may lose loved ones over time, our kids may change over time, but one thing that will never change is God.

I challenge all of us to work hard to develop a deep relationship with God. Building a relationship with a never changing God will make this ever changing world easier to navigate through. We need to be so thankful that we serve a God like that. What if we looked at everyone else in this world as God does? What if we loved other people and forgave other people as God does? Would this world change? As things change with us and our lives we can always go to that one constant in our lives in prayer. We can always rely on Him. We can always have someone to lean on. There is no better feeling than to know that no matter what we go through in life and what challenges and changes in life we face, God will be the same tomorrow and forever as he has always been in the past!!!